For the first time, my daughter won’t be home for Thanksgiving this year. She’s in school abroad. Shockingly her professors don’t seem to care that she is American and a major holiday is coming! Her last day of classes are the day after Thanksgiving and reviews have been scheduled for all of Thanksgiving week.
So she has a really good reason to stay at school. And of course, we’re happy that she is putting school first. But I won’t lie. I’m sad. Sad because this is absolute proof that our family is changing. No longer can I demand the presence of my children at a holiday feast and expect them to come. No longer can I pretend that I’m at the center of their lives. And no longer can I pretend that my daughter isn’t turning into an adult with her own life, her own demands, and her own priorities.
Now that you dropped your child at college and are back home – now what? The past few weeks were spent getting them ready, all those lists and concerns about move in day are now behind you. Their dorm room is set up, they met their roommate , their books are bought, dining services set up, found the laundry room and you are back home. Well if you are anything Ike this UCP, you probably can’t help going into their room and staring at the empty space and crying. I can’t help myself, I sit on their beds and smile and enjoy all the wonderful memories of having them at home. Somehow all the difficulties of raising them fade and I don’t dwell on the fights, and times I had to play the tough parent. I indulge myself in those fond memories of the baby boy or girl that I raised and sent off to college.
When I am in their room I invariably start looking around and I see clutter, piles of stuff and drawers that are a little messy in their haste to pack for college. My first impulse is to rearrange those drawers and get a big garbage bag and throw away that clutter. But now, I resist that urge – let me tell you why!