You're an Uncool College Parent If...

  1. #1. You wish your kid responded to your text.
  2. #2. You know they're over 18; and you still care.
  3. Read the rest...

When Your Freshman Comes Home For Thanksgiving Break…

Happy Thanksgiving
For those of us who have upper class college kids we can remember the first time our college student came home after being on their own for Thanksgiving break. For many of us it was an eye opening experience. Here was our baby who we had sent off not a mere 2-3 months ago. But after being on his or her own with no one looking over their shoulder sometimes the transition back to living under a parent’s roof was a little rocky. So here we are to caution you that things may be different with your college student when they return home and to be patient so the transition back home can be a smooth one.

As parents we have to remember that except for following some dorm rules our college kids are masters of their own schedule. They sleep when they want, go out when they want, eat when they want and the most important of all come in from a night out when they want. Also since college kids are usually on a whirlwind schedule, balancing studying and a social life many of us parents found that when our college kids came home the first thing they did was to to sleep and sleep they did; sometimes for the whole first day. I remember the first time my oldest came home for Thanksgiving break – he slept the whole first day away. There I was waiting to engage him and find out just how things were going at school and he was sleeping! I was frustrated – if only someone had told me that this might happen I would have been able to take a deep breath and not be so anxious
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This Uncool College Parent’s Kid is Home!!

My daughter came home from college for the first time this week. Our whole family was excited. I had heard from friends (including my UCP co-founders) that things might not be so smooth. But I didn’t believe it for a minute. Ok, ok, maybe I might have just a little.

But that knowledge did not take away from the excited anticipation of my reunited family. I figured if I kept my expectations modest, they couldn’t be beaten.

I don’t think of my daughter as young anymore, but we plan to reinforce some expectations that we have as a family, and ones that she knows my husband and I adhere to:
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It’s Thanksgiving! Hooray! Ok, maybe not hooray this year….

For the first time, my daughter won’t be home for Thanksgiving this year. She’s in school abroad. Shockingly her professors don’t seem to care that she is American and a major holiday is coming! Her last day of classes are the day after Thanksgiving and reviews have been scheduled for all of Thanksgiving week.

So she has a really good reason to stay at school. And of course, we’re happy that she is putting school first. But I won’t lie. I’m sad. Sad because this is absolute proof that our family is changing. No longer can I demand the presence of my children at a holiday feast and expect them to come. No longer can I pretend that I’m at the center of their lives. And no longer can I pretend that my daughter isn’t turning into an adult with her own life, her own demands, and her own priorities.
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